Moments

Do you ever have those moments of serenity? Wishing you could freeze time and live out your days in this configuration of people and events and animals? I had one of those tonight. My family is pretty settled right now in their school/sports/work lives. I’m having an adventure that I never thought I’d get to have. It’s good here.

But this is rare for me. I’m not a high energy person, but I’m always ‘complicating’ things, as my grandmother used to say. It took me a long time to understand what she meant and then to accept that this was a positive part of who I am. I’m the kind of person who’s always looking at the next thing. I enjoy what I’m doing now, but I’m always trying to make it better. When my career involved a full-time paycheck, I managed the help desk for a software company. I was always looking for smarter ways to work without burning out everyone I worked with. It was fun because I never knew what the work day would bring. Then motherhood brought a different pace and much different rewards. I’ve learned to live more in the moment through my kids, while still planning the next thing.

These puppies have reminded me again about the immediacy of life. They have needs, right now, not in 10 minutes, right now, right now, please. I’ve let all kinds of things fall by the wayside – housework, knitting projects, yardwork, a letter from the City demanding that we cut down a tree. But I’ve kept up with work and the kids’ school stuff and getting the boys to sports events and reading. I guess when the puppies are all adopted and in their homes, I’ll have time to catch up with those other things.

It’s been a good break to be forced to prioritize. It helps put it all into perspective.

As I think about my next thing, I have mental lists of projects (plant some flowers, clean the bathroom, hang some pictures, paint a wall). But I know from experience that when one door closes, another one opens.

And what’s behind that new door is always more exciting than what’s come before it.